First Step
by Macx
Summary: a tag to Beyond Loyalty


**First Step**

by Birgit Staebler

mac@robyn.rhein-neckar.de

Devon Miles had not expected what was about to happen. He knew Jennifer Knight was due to visit today and he had arranged for Michael, Bonnie and especially Kitt not to be here. Michael had an undercover assignment anyway and Bonnie was out with the Semi to assist them. The only one he had not thought about was Nicholas MacKenzie, mainly because Nick had not returned to the mansion since the events over sixteen months back. Jennifer Knight had every right to be here, even though she was not invited, and Devon knew she only visited to make his life hard and unpleasant. Officially she was here for business, unofficially she was here to agonize him.   
And an agonizing day it had been, even though he had had support, a surprising support, by John Landes, who had come five minutes after Jennifer's arrival. He had kept her in check. Still, Devon was really glad when she announced she would be going now. Jennifer still walked with a slight limp and Devon had heard that even though her bones had mended, not everything had been back to normal after that. Karr's collision with her had done some serious damage and she had spent a very long time in rehab and later in cosmetic surgery. She had tried to sue Nick for what had occurred but the ex-agent had not even twitched a muscle at the threat. In the end the bunch of lawyers had mysteriously given up, telling Jennifer that it would be in her best interest not to pursue the matter. Devon didn't know all the details, but what he had heard was enough. If Jennifer had pursued this matter, Nick would have raised charges of attempted murder, torture and arson against her; and he would have won.   
Now she walked stiffly down the stairs, dressed as impeccably as always. Devon accompanied her, face an icy mask, too many old memories boiling up inside of him. Especially those of Michael's expression of betrayal, his accusing words, and the images of Kitt's condition after the tests, how he had wanted to kill himself to escape his own nightmares. Even today, after such a long time between the events and now, there was still a gap between Devon and the others; a gap that was hard to bridge and which he had failed to cross many times. The unlimited, unquestioned trust was gone, replaced by wariness and a sometimes cooled down atmosphere. They were just outside when Devon became aware of two facts: there was a car parked close by and it was one he knew. Jennifer didn't see it as she coolly said good-bye and walked over to her limousine. What happened then was like a bad dream, a nightmare out of the darkest depths.   
Karr's engine came to life with a howl and he launched himself at the woman now standing open and unprotected on the driveway, staring at the Stealth like a deer transfixed by a headlight. Devon was frozen in shock, mouth opening to scream a warning, but no sound could be heard. Karr leaped toward Jennifer like a predatory animal for its prey, and in a way that comparison wasn't too far off. Jennifer came out of her transfixation and   
was barely fast enough to evade Karr's nose spear-heading her way. She hit the gravel-strewn driveway, her expensive dress tearing and staining. The Stealth braked, turned and was about to engage again when Nicholas came toward them at a dead run. His features froze as he recognized just what had launched this reaction. John Landes stepped forward and grabbed Jennifer roughly, pulling her up. She stumbled against him, eyes wide, fear in her eyes.   
Karr growled darkly and Devon imagined him baring teeth and snarling viciously. "Nick!" Devon whispered. "Please!"   
The former CIA agent met his eyes and Miles shivered. The expression in those blue eyes was pure murder. He had never seen him like this and he knew one wrong move and Jennifer would be deader than a doornail.   
"Don't," Landes now said, apparently addressing both partners.   
"Give me one good reason," Nick said flatly.   
John smiled humorlessly, used to dealing with Nick from several encounters and more adept in that matter anyway. "I can give you a reason, though not a good one. What you want to do would be murder and helps no one, least of all Kitt and Michael who need you still."   
Nick approached, stiff and robot-like, face totally expressionless. Jennifer shrank away, but the moment she made a step, Karr growled deeply. She froze. Suddenly Karr shot forward again. John sought out the cold blue chips of ice and shot the new FLAG operative a look.   
"Nick...."   
Nick stepped forward and Karr reacted in a split second as his partner suddenly appeared in front of his nose. Smoke rose from his tires and he stopped barely an inch in front of the jeans-clad legs. His engine was still growling angrily.   
"Leave," Nick said flatly. He didn't even glance briefly at the black prow to check how close he had come to getting flattened by his partner.   
Jennifer took the cue and fled, her face as white as chalk, her body trembling so badly she stumbled and almost fell into the car. The limousine left the FLAG premises in a hurry. The moment she was gone, John Landes turned and looked at Nick again.   
"Thank you."   
"Don't thank me, John. There is only one reason why she is still alive and you know why. If I ever cut my ties with FLAG, and one day I will, she should not cross our path."   
Landes nodded. He knew it was not an empty threat. Nick was no killer, but what Jennifer had done to Kitt and Michael had set her on the list of enemies Nick had. Now MacKenzie turned and got into the Stealth, leaving the Foundation ground. John found himself starting to breathe again.

* * *

Michael drove back into the warehouse, pleased with the outcome of the last case and feeling elated. It had gone incredibly smooth and without complications, and he now had a few days to himself. It was time to take Bonnie out to the promised dinner date and movie. She had agreed to it and would come here after checking some things through in the Semi. Kitt felt pleased as well and was ready for some off-line time and getting a recharge. As not differently expected, Karr was already home. Nick had not been out on one of his own cases, telling Michael he would take some time off and do 'mundane' stuff. Michael wasn't so sure their definition of the word was the same, but at least his friend was not sneaking around and stealing secrets.   
"Michael?" Kitt suddenly said, sounding ominous.   
"Yes? What is it?"   
"Something is wrong. Karr .... I don't know how to translate the feeling I get, but he is darker than usual. It's...almost frightening."   
Michael frowned. Kitt afraid of Karr? He was long past this point! "What's wrong, Kitt?" he asked quietly.   
"I don't know!" Kitt repeated, sounding slightly desperate and very confused. "He is not exactly cutting me off, but he is so dark, so black....so enraged!"   
"About what?"   
"He won't answer my inquiries."   
Michael got out of the TransAm and cast a long look at the Stealth. He once again wished the car had a scanner. It would make things easier. "Then I'm going to ask someone else," he said softly.   
Walking up the iron stairway he wondered what could have happened. Nick being hurt was out of the question. He had seen Karr's reaction to all kinds of injuries Nick had sustained and never had he been like Kitt had described it. So it was something else, coming from either of the two partners, and he wanted to know what it was. As he arrived on the second floor he looked around for the other operative and found him standing at the window overlooking the harbor front. The window went from bottom to ceiling, was slightly milky and filtered the weak sunlight of the cloudy day they had outside.   
"Nick?"   
There was no reaction and Michael noticed how tense the other man was. Living with Nick for the last months had let him grow quite adept at reading the man. Nick liked to hide his emotions behind masks, but Michael knew most of the masks and he also knew that Nick knew. He smiled briefly. Sometimes he thought it was a game for both of them, just like it was a game for Kitt to weave around the shields Karr erected and confronted the real self of his brother.   
"Nick, what's wrong?"   
"Nothing." It was barely more than a hiss.   
"Kitt says Karr is projecting darkness and won't answer his questions. He says he is angry...enraged."   
"Michael, leave it." It was a quiet warning, but it was a warning Michael chose to ignore.   
"I know you didn't go out on one of your cases today.... Then what ignited this?"   
//Michael!//   
Kitt's call was a mixture of fright and realization. It was accompanied by bad memories and feelings Michael recognized from another time.   
//What?//   
//He went to the Foundation to drop off Justin. He.... She was there...Michael.... I....//   
Michael paled, his own rage rising with the emotional mix his partner sent. "You went back to the mansion....?"   
Nick tensed more and his hands clenched into fists. There was a soft hiss escaping him.   
"Jennifer Knight."   
MacKenzie turned and Michael stepped back involuntarily. There was an inhuman expression of rage on Nick's face, lodged deep into his eyes, and for a moment Michael was afraid the other would lash out at him. He had never seen his friend like this and he knew he was seeing the assassin unveiled.   
"What happened, Nick?" he wanted to know, keeping his voice forcefully calm.   
"Nothing much."   
"Nick.... please...."   
The cold blue eyes met his and Michael shivered. There was pure murder in them. "She was there. And John got in the way."   
Michael felt sick to the core. Those two sentences told him all he needed to know. Nick had run into Jennifer Knight, he or Karr had tried to kill her out of primal rage, and John Landes had stepped in between. Kitt sent a soft moan through the link. There were tears in his virtual eyes and Michael automatically comforted him. But those weren't tears of fear or fright, they were shared suffering and disbelief at what Karr and Nick had done – or stopped doing.   
"I'm glad you didn't go through with it," he now said quietly.   
"There is only one reason why," Nick said coldly. "You and Kitt." He turned away abruptly and walked back into the room.   
Michael understood. "Thank you."   
Nick stopped, rubbing his eyes. "Don't thank me, Michael. I was closer than ever to taking a life because of a personal feeling... or letting Karr go through with it." A tremor raced through him. "I never hated someone so deeply like her."   
"I know the feeling."   
Nick's head snapped around. "No, you don't. You only want her dead, but you don't see every available method flash by in your head, you don't think of a dozen ways to kill her right now without remorse. You still have a restraint, Michael. I have lost this restraint a very long time ago."   
Michael felt uncomfortably reminded of the fact that Nick had been a government trained assassin and still was. You couldn't lose it just like that. This man was truly able to kill someone within seconds and always use another method.   
"Nick...."   
"No, you can't help. Karr and I have to handle it somehow, and it will take a while. I think we should leave for a few days."   
"No," Michael said quietly. "I think you should be around friends."   
Nick smiled humorlessly. "Trust me, I shouldn't. I might do something irreversible."   
"Kitt can help Karr, and I'd like to think I'm your friend. At least enough to be a help with your problems."   
Nick hesitated. "Michael... I consider you a friend. One of the few real ones I have," he then said softly. "But there are sides to me and Karr I don't want to share."   
"Maybe you should," Michael said quietly. "Karr accepts Kitt's help."   
"They are brothers. There are few things that Karr can truly hide."   
"And how long do you think you can hide yourself?"   
MacKenzie sighed. "As long as necessary."   
Michael shook his head. "At least try!"   
Their eyes met. "Okay," Nick finally said slowly. "But don't blame me for the results."   
He smiled. "I won't."   


Downstairs, Kitt parked right next to Karr, his nose gently pressed into the other black vehicle's fender. It was nothing but a physical display of closeness and could not be compared to the touch of their partners to the sensors, but Kitt remembered how good and secure it had felt when Karr had been close. He only wanted to return the favor. Inside the virtual worlds of their CPUs, Kitt sat close to his brother as well, a soft, white and warm presence who demanded nothing but was willing to listen. Karr was silent, but now and then shivers passed through him. After a while Kitt reached out and gently wove tendrils of himself around the silent dark spark. Karr turned to look at him.   
_You don't have to protect me, Kitt whispered.   
Karr sighed softly and accepted the embrace, wrapping a single tendril of himself around the closest of Kitt's 'arms'. _How can you not hate her?   
The question was silent, soft, almost wondering. Kitt hesitated. _In a way I do, he then answered.   
_But you would save her life, you would risk your own for hers.....   
_I have to. My programming demands it.   
_Even though she tried to kill you.   
Kitt sighed deeply. _I can't fight what makes me what I am, Karr. I have to protect human life.   
_Jennifer Knight is not human! Karr hissed. _She did inhuman experiments on you, she tried to end your life!   
_Killing her wouldn't help.   
_It would be satisfaction, Karr growled darkly. _Maybe even pleasure.   
Kitt smiled slightly and let Karr feel it. _I am glad you didn't kill her. I hate Jennifer Knight for what she did, I don't ever want to see her again, but I would never be able to kill her.   
_Even if she did the same to you again?   
Tremors of fear raced through Kitt as he remembered those nightmarish weeks. Karr reached out further and gently touched him.   
_I apologize. I did not want to call back those memories.   
_It's okay, Kitt breathed, feeling shaken but not like he would flash back as violently as he would have a few months earlier. _I'm not sure what I'd do if ...if she ...did it again, he then answered Karr's question.   
_But I know. And you wouldn't be able to stop me, Karr told him levelly.   
Kitt hugged him briefly. _I appreciate your protection.   
Karr looked up, a caught expression in his virtual eyes, and Kitt smiled warmly. He wondered once again why his brother insisted on hiding his feelings from everyone... well, most of his feelings anyway. Kitt knew that the primary reason was vulnerability. Karr had been taught never to show a weakness, never to admit fear, never evade a confrontation, but to put his survival before any one else's life. He had changed when Nick had stepped into his life, linking up to him with the neuro implant, but he was still not at ease showing his emotions. Kitt was slowly teaching him that it was okay, that it didn't hurt, that he wouldn't take advantage of what Karr revealed.   
They stayed that way, close together, Kitt keeping Karr company and soothing the anger cooking deep down inside the older AI. He understood him. Karr displayed what Kitt wished he could do. Karr was his darker side, his evil side, while Kitt was the good side, the open and warm one. Both AIs had those opposite feelings inside them, but both were unable to display them. They were two sides of a coin, they belonged together, and it had taken extreme measures to bring them together.   
Kitt sent another wave of appreciation and friendship along the link, and Karr smiled briefly. The silence between them was amiable, friendly... brotherly, and Kitt carefully reached for his connection to Michael, peeking through the link. His partner and Nick were talking. Good. At least a beginning, for all of them now. He liked his new life, he liked the idea of a second team of operatives, and he knew that Michael and Nick worked well together, as did Karr and himself as well.   
He wouldn't lose this new life to Jennifer Knight ever again.   



End file.
